Friday, July 13, 2012

Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?

GUYS.  This:


I fancy myself a Wizard of Oz enthusiast.  And if you saw the dusty boxes of collector's items I had as a child, you'd probably agree, and then you'd wonder how I turned out so normal.  And if you're thinking that I'm not actually normal, one of the reasons that would be is the abnormal amount of Oz paraphernalia my parents indulged me with as a youngster.  Porcelain dolls, collector's plates, Christmas tree ornaments, fridge magnets - at my pre-school, I even met the Coroner Munchkin.  I'm kind of a horse of a different color.  

This guy.  I'm serious.

When a new rendition of Oz comes out, I do my research and am generally on board.  I love Wicked, the musical, but I was mostly annoyed with Gregory Maguire's excuse for a novel, because seriously, I don't want to hear the Wicked Witch's story.  She's bad, Dorothy is good, let's not overthink this - Capisce?  Also, that man built an entire career out of 'alternative fairy tales' and, I think that's weird.  Just saying.  Otherwise, I'm completely obsessed with the Wizard of Oz.  I realize the musical is based on the novel - but the musical is just better.

So without further ado - let me tell you why this movie, a prequel focused on The Great and Powerful himself, has me overjoyed and somewhat skeptical.  I'm in a hot-air balloon of emotion.

This movie will be awesome because:
1.  James Franco.  He is amazing despite agreeing to co-host the Oscars with the mushy Anne Hathaway (Strike 1) and then showing up high to do so (Allegedly.  Is that a strike? You be the judge).

2.  The movie begins in black and white and becomes color when the Wiz is over the rainbow.  It's the perfect homage to the original film.

3.  It will not star Johnny Depp.  Can we breathe a collective sigh of relief on that one?  

This movie will be an abomination because:
1.  It obviously will have a love story that steals the innocence and fantasy of the original film/story.  Many a film has been ruined by adding relationship drama to a children's tale that wasn't intended to have it.  The remakes of Willy Wonka and The Grinch come to mind.  The trailer here makes it look as if The Wizard and one of the witches have a fling and I'm just like, puh-lease.  Let's not go there, ok?

2.  Inevitably, some horrible graphics/CGI/3D designer will come in and turn Oz into "look at all the cool stuff I can generate with my computer."  Rein it in boys, we just need a yellow brick road and a glowing city of Emeralds - you can leave the weird fantasy bugs and fairies for the next live action remake of a Disney cartoon.  Oz is magical, but it's not Pandora.  Thanks.

So I'm thinking I'll go into this with the enthusiasm of Eeyore and I'm hoping I'll come out having found my tail.  I may even bring porcelain Dorothy in her glass case to sit next to me in the theatre.  And her little dog too.


  1. I agree with your assessment of Wicked the novel; as well as the musical - LOVED IT!
    I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I found the writing of the novel difficult to get through. And while I enjoyed the idea of the story, it ultimately ended up way too political. I've been slowly making my way through it the last 5 years.

    1. I was in the bookstore over last weekend and there is a whole series now! Like Son of a Witch? And a few others, too. So.Weird!