The Billy Goat Trail

I have a tendency to say I've done things when I haven't.  Not like I'm a liar, but I generally don't ask for clarification on things so I'm just like, "Yeah, I know, me too."  But then I'll find out months later "Oooooh, those are Cherry Blossoms...Why didn't you tell me that?"  And the Billy Goat Trail is no different.  Many people in the last year have asked me if I've done the Billy Goat Trail out at Great Falls.  Well, I have been to Great Falls and hiked it.  Twice.  So I was just all, "Yaaaa, I looooove the Billy Goat Trail."  It turns out though, that until last Friday, I didn't even know what state the Billy Goat Trail was in, let alone hiked it.  Who knew.

So with Le Mom and Mrs. Fish visiting last Friday, I decided they should take me on a hike since this blog hasn't seen one in a while (and that's kind of the point).  I have only been to the Virginia side of Great Falls, so I thought I'd bring Mom and Dara to the Maryland side of the park, and guess what?  That's where the Billy Goat Trail is.  And guess what?  The Billy Goat Trail is way hard.  It's just rocks. With some blue paint on some rocks.  Beckoning you to get closer to the edge and fall off.  When we passed a sign that said "Danger: People Die Here" and had only the Falls to our right, I pulled the plug and turned us back.  I wouldn't wish the Billy Goat Trail on my worst enemies.  And it was certainly a little too intense for me.

Gross.

Me. Le Mom. Mrs. Fish.

C&O Canal Towpath

As soon as it said "jumps across open areas" Mrs. Fish and I were like, No.

Here lies Billy.  

He fell into the water trying to jump across open areas.

Then, since I'm pretty sure my luck is hereditary, our car broke down.  Kind of.  Pulling out of the parking spot, Claudia's finely tuned ears heard something dragging under our car.  She pulled back in and slid underneath to find the air dam hanging off of the undercarriage.  These are all car words I'm unfamiliar with - so apologies if I'm using them incorrectly.  Claudia, being a super-badass-mom, slid under the car with some borrowed pliers (on loan from the man in the car next to us, who did NOT offer to aid three stranded ladies), ripped off the rest of the air dam and got us to the nearest Ford dealership...because Said Man told us the car would explode (or overheat, whatever) without the particular part we just ripped off.  Thanks guy.  Your commentary was priceless and actually, completely incorrect.  Once Mom saved the day, I returned the pliers.  And smiling, I told Said Man, "Thank you, sir.  Be sure you check out the Billy Goat Trail."

Great Falls in the Fall

As promised, I returned to Great Falls Park over the weekend to spend some more time there.  This time, with guest hiker Hawi, I completed almost all of Hike 32: Riverbend Park and Great Falls Park from 60 Hikes.  The book says this hike is 9.8 miles - but I think we accidentally got onto one of the 'shorter option' trails and also, we didn't do the shorter section down by the Falls.  However - with the powers of my hike with Matt, combined with Saturday's hike with Hawi, I can say I have completed the whole thing - From Riverbend to Great Falls.

The Map from 60 Hikes

I remember being confused by the above map when Matt and I did this hike earlier in the year because we had walked around the Falls and other than a 1.5 or 2 mile hike at the Southern end of the Falls - there didn't seem to be much else.  Well - look West little hikers.  Or North.  Whatever - I don't do directions.  Essentially though, while Matt and I had stood at the Falls and turned right, Hawi and I took a left.  And that has made all the difference. (Ha - a little Frost trail humor, if you will).

Hawi and I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to hike.  There wasn't a cloud in the sky, it was a crisp 70 degrees and the Fall leaves were all shades of orange and yellow.  We walked up the river and I was like - phew - this is hiking.  If you look at the map - We started around 9:55 AM at the 3rd "P" from the bottom and walked up and around back down to the Mather Gorge and then back to the car.  We were done around 1:15.  Including our brief picnic for lunch.  60 Hikes says we reached an elevation of 2200 feet!  Most of the hike was leisurely up the river, through the woods, and back to the park parking lot.  But - Hawi and I were sweating by the end and we had our out of breath moments from heading uphill.

There are 2 significant stories that came from Saturday's adventure.  1 - I learned how to read a map.  Seriously, they paint on the trees and sometimes you feel totally lost.  I'm pretty sure that when we were supposed to be on the red trail, we were accidentally on the orange trail (cutting our hike a tad shorter) but like a Last of the Mohican I was all over those tree markers leading the way.  2 - We had some snake run-ins and I still hate nature.

Where we started.

Good thing I made my horse wait back at the car.

Hawi and Me at Riverbend Park Nature Center

I'm not sure we ever made it to the Bootlegger Trail - we diverted to the Highlands Trail

Sweet...Nature

Fall Leaves!

Follow the Orange Tree Road

And we made it back to the Falls!!!

Those people are standing on the Maryland side of the park....I was standing in VA looking at MD!

The Snake Story:

We saw TWO of these Black Rat Snakes while trekking the trail.  This guy was the first one we saw.  And we aren't even the ones who saw it - we were walking with a park volunteer briefly while he helped us find the trail from the Riverbend Nature Center and he alerted us to this guy.  I would have just kept walking on...oblivious...until I stepped on it.  Yuck.  Well Hawi and I freaked out and I'm pretty sure that said-volunteer was beyond annoyed that neither of us would cross the path with this snake on it.  In our defense - it didn't help that the guy told us the snake might be poisonous.  I kept picturing the snake striking faster than my human legs could get away, like they show on the Discovery Channel.  In the end - the volunteer stood in front of the snake and we crossed behind him.  

We had a chance to redeem ourselves later in the day when we saw the second of this harmless snake in the parking lot on the way back to the car.  I don't know what this snake was doing, but he was right in the middle of the parking lot entrance.  2 cars saw mine and Hawi's reactions and figured out that they shouldn't drive over the snake.  The third car threw caution to the wind and ran right over it.  Rude - we are in his house.  We decided that our good nature deed of the day would be to go find a park ranger.  I explained that the snake seemed to still be alive but it's tail was all crinkled and it wasn't moving.  The park ranger radio'd (or fake-radio'd - who knows) her boss.  We'll never know if that little guy made it - but I can sleep at night knowing I'm not a killer of God's creatures.

That guy that ran over it certainly can't say the same.

Hike 3 - Park Preview

For the next two weeks, Matt and I will be doing Tuesday hikes because we’re busy/out of town during the weekends.  This past Tuesday we trekked around Great Falls Park, VA.  Un.freaking.believable.  I didn’t know such beautiful nature even existed in the Metro area.  You haven’t seen the Potomac until you’ve seen it like this.  If I can say that, anyone who’s actually into nature would really go gaga.

Check out the little kayakers!

The murky green waters that snake through the District and around our monuments don’t hold a candle to the white-capped rapids that break in Virginia’s Potomac.  Breathtaking.  Shoot, now I feel guilty that I’m rounding my three-year anniversary here in DC and I had no idea this little gem even existed.  I knew the Potomac existed, duh, but not like this.

In addition to experiencing the River in a completely different way, the drive up is equally pleasurable.  Again – I didn’t know homes so grand existed in this area.  Am I really going through life with blinders on?  Oblivious to the wonderful city I live in and all it has to offer?  Keep it to yourselves – those questions are rhetorical.

*Sidebar – After almost getting hit by a car 2 days ago at 19^th and L, I had the random conversation with myself about what it would be like if we had no peripheral vision.  Weird, right?  It’s fun inside my head.  I go there all the time.

Oh –as I was saying: Sprawling acres, gated and stonewalled mansions, it’s a Real Housewife’s dream.  Being a sucker for real estate and home décor publications, I just gawked out the window - hanging my head out farther than Hudson - recurrently gasping, “Look at THAT!” 

Then came the obvious question, “Seriously Matt, how do I marry into that?” I kid, I kid.  But as my dad, Ed, always says, “It’s just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is to fall in love with a poor man.”  And I always listen to Ed.

We had to cut this hike short because an important thing to note about Great Falls is that it’s a solid 30 to 40 minute drive from DC.  By the time we both got off of work, I biked to Matt’s (more to come on that debacle), and we high-tailed it out to Virginia, there was only about 40 minutes of light left in the day.  It was even darker in the thick of the woods.  Hudson was scared, so after promising each other to come back on a Saturday morning and do the works - kayaking, hiking, and grilling – Matt and I reluctantly drove back to the mothership – er, land. 

Now comes the funny part about my bike ride to Matt’s house in Eastern Market.  It’s actually just pitiful, but I figure if I write enough embarrassing stuff I can shame myself back into shape.  Here goes:

I recently have been dabbling in Capital Bikeshare  – a bike rental company in DC.  I tested the waters with a few one-day passes and a couple of days ago I signed up for an entire month.  Reckless, I know.  In the spirit of my new healthy-ish lifestyle, I decided I’d snag a bike around the corner from my office and bike to Eastern Market.  Easy-Peezy.  And it was.  Not.

Do you know why they call it Capitol Hill?  Because our Capitol Building sits on an actual hill in DC and it is the highest point in the city.  I know what you’re thinking: It’s not Everest, Chief.  But, let’s face it, I would never climb Everest because I hate the cold and I complain too much – so the Hill is my Everest.  Just go with it.

One thing leads to another and I’m pedaling along, minding my own business, when I realize the route I have taken will bring me right to the belly of the beast.  There’s no turning back.  Independence Avenue.  Between the Capitol Building and the House Office Buildings.  The Mother of all Hills – or at least the Mother of all Democratic Hills (a little political humor, if you will).  It was too much, too big, too soon. 

I made it past Rayburn – which Washingtonians know is only a third of the way up - and then I had to stop and walk the bike up the rest…hanging my head ashamed as I passed the Capitol Police and they looked at me with disdain.  Judging.  And thinking, “That girl is weak.”  I made that part up.  They didn’t notice me.  But it was still embarrassing, especially since I didn’t even think – as I gasped for air, and my quads burned like the fires of Hell– that I was going to be able to make it walking either.  I went into my head picturing the horror of waking up, trapped under this bike, with Capitol Police zooming to my rescue and reporters rushing to the scene.  ‘Alert DC’ texts going out saying, “Chubby girl wipes out and blocks traffic to the Hill.  Congress shut down until further notice.” 

Just kidding – Congress isn’t even in session right now.

In the end, where Independence turns into Pennsylvania, I got back on my horse.  Luckily, I didn’t see anyone I know, but the Hill got the best of me.  Oh well, it wouldn’t be the first time.

This story went on forever, but humor me.  You’ll appreciate the film version.