I'm not embarrassed...

That's right.  I'm not at all embarrassed by the amount of food I consumed at IHOP last night.  It was National Pancake Day - a fundraiser for the Children's Miracle Network - in which IHOP gives it's customers a free short stack of pancakes.  Kerri, Amanda and I got the pancakes as somewhat of an amuse-bouche, a precursor to our entree IHOP meals.  And it looked something like this: 

Amanda's free shortstack and Omelette with another side of pancakes.

Post-pancake Stuffed French Toast Combo Platter.

It was awesome.

So yeah, I'm paying for my sins at the gym this week, but this Pancake hangover is So.Worth.It.  

I do it for the kids.

The National Archives and Other News

Last Saturday, Kerri and I met up to visit the National Archives.  Both of us have lived in DC for awhile but have never been to see the nation's founding documents.

As far as hiking is concerned - I am going to say I hiked it there.  The Archives are on 7th and Constitution, but despite the fact that I have lived here almost 4 years, I am constantly scrambling Independence Ave. with Constitution Ave.  That being the case - I took the longest way possible to get there.  The good thing that resulted was I found this charming little garden that I've never seen before on the Mall, nestled between the Smithsonian Castle and Independence Ave.  It has a variety of different flower species and each is marked with a little label of the species and origin.  There was also this beautiful fountain:

Instead of water, the fountain has pieces of blue glass.

Mom and Dad - take note for your weed-filled fountain.  Maybe blue glass is the easy-to-maintain, aesthetically pleasing way to go.  Just saying.

Anyway, my perpetual confusion of the 2 biggest streets in DC also led me to cut through the Sculpture Garden.  I've been there countless times, but I noticed something else I'd never seen before...

Is this sculpture a new addition?  

I don't know - but it's my new favorite in the Garden.

The Archives are a tad underwhelming.  The only thing it really houses are the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.  Those are important of course, but be prepared to stand in line for longer than you are actually inside the museum.

The National Archives

Kerri.  O'Brien.  Get it?  You have to know her.

The O'Brien Gallery housed a Ben Franklin exhibit which was actually very good.  But alas, Kerri and I sped through it - we are kind of BF experts, having read his autobiography for the amazing Nick Marshall's American History class.  Instead of learning about the Frank, we reminisced about Marist and it's greatest, best looking professor: Nicky Marshall.  We love him, his classes and let's just say we'd read anything he told us to.  We'd read it all night long.  Just kidding.  That's insanely inappropriate.  But, I mean, we're kind of serious...when we're not kidding.  Anyway...

We're history geeks so we thoroughly enjoyed waiting 50 minutes outside on a beautiful day to spend 15 minutes observing the documents that founded this great country.  Well worth the trip, if you have the time.

In other news - today, I'm wearing a pair of jeans that I haven't fit into in 2 years.  My 2009 body is so close I can taste it.  Oh yeah.

Mason Neck

Kerri showed her support and, on Sunday, escorted me to Mason Neck State Park and National Wildlife Refuge in Lorton, VA.  We were anticipating some rainy weather, so we spent the overcast morning brunching and driving to 2 Target stores to scope out the first day of the Jason Wu collaboration line.  We got to our first Target at 11:45 AM.  The collection was already gone except for a few size XLs hanging all lonely-like on the racks.  The second Target was much the same - a sad scene indeed.  Unfortunately, Kerri is actually an XXL and I'm an XXXL.  The good sizes always go first...

By the time we'd scoured the Targets and Best Buys and TJMaxx's of Virginia (such a treat for me - the same stores in the city are just not the same), it appeared the clouds were parting and the sun was poking through.  We took a risk that the weather would hold up and started the 45 minute drive to Lorton.  And can I say, wow, the day only got more beautiful.  By the time we got to the park, the sky was bright blue and the sun ashining.

I'm a little confused about the geography of Mason Neck - 60 Hikes says that there is a 12.9 mile loop with modified routes available, but Kerri and I did about 5 miles and there was seemingly nowhere else to walk.  My only explanation is that, since it is a nature reserve and there are many indigenous species roaming the park, they close certain trails during the winter so they can hibernate and procreate and what not in peace.  Seriously.  I read that on a sign.

We parked at the Woodmarsh Trail

Mason Neck was so amazing though - the first 2 miles of our hike was on a bike trail.  It was that soft cushy tar that made me wish I lived nearby, so I could go on long runs on that heavenly ground.  There were some places where I think during the summer months we may have ventured off the bike path, but as aforementioned, those trails were closed - so we went straight over some creeks and through the woods about 2 miles until we came onto another parking lot that directed us to all different kinds of naturey trails with leaves and everything!

Kerri and I took the Wilson Spring Trail.  It brought us through the woods to a 'lookout' spot where you could sit and look for nature.  We didn't do that.  We kept walking until there was the most incredible view of a body of water called Belmont Bay.  I also read a pretty interesting sign about the soft soil absorbing rainwater, taking all the nutrients out of it, purifying it and then that water trickles into the Bay making it clean and pure...or something.  I don't really remember.

 For those of you new to technologies like "Google" and "The Internet"...

The blue dot is where we were standing!

Ok, and that is actually Belmont Bay

There were multitudes of fallen trees such as this - not chopped down but ripped up from their roots.  What would cause that? Strong winds? Godzilla?  I don't know.

I was very excited about this tree because look how GREEN it is!  In February!

Spring must be just around the corner.

It felt great to be back on a trail and I have to give special thanks to Miss Kerri for accompanying me.  I'm going to insist that she and her amazing, fuel-efficient Prius make more guest appearances on the blogosphere - even if it's just to take me to Target.

I would highly recommend Mason Neck Park as a beautiful, relaxing way to spend a day.  There is a huge playground and picnic area with grills, so it's also very family friendly.  We didn't see any animals, but it was no biggie because on the way to Target we saw a hawk sitting on a power line.  And that's how I like my nature anyway - commercially developed...Preferably collaborating with Jason Wu.

Ima Try This

Um, obvi, I don't have any hikes to blog about right now.  Shoot!  

Anywho - found this on a friend's blog and I want to do it too.

I encourage you all to do the same.

Also - who wants to hike with me people, FOR REAL?!  I need partners because me wandering around the woods by myself is just not funny - unless you want to hear more about the conversations I have with myself inside my head.

No one wants to watch a movie about a girl who doesn't meet her 60 hike goal and like, can't even find herself in the 60 weeks allotted.

I'm not blaming Matt for bailing. But, I am.

Step it up and hike with me - until then, you're all going to be looking at my Instagram photos for the next month.

Thanks.

This girl LOVES purple

One day last summer I was strolling through Georgetown in a pink shirt and saw at JCrew some amazing neon pink shorts.  Waiting to try them on, the girl in front of me said, "Wow, you REALLY love pink."  And then she laughed at me.  Biotch.  What do I say to that?  That never would have happened if I had been wearing a black shirt while shopping for black pants - what could she have said? "You LOVE black! Where's your witch hat, you gothic magician?"  

I dont even like pink that much and I didn't buy the shorts.  But the point is - now I'm paranoid about color dominance even if I just happen to be wearing the same color I'm shopping for, or a little too much of one color in general.  This is how I think.  And because of some recent sightings of myself in a mirror, I'm thinking everyone at my gym sees me and says, "WHOA. That girl LOVES purple." I have awesome purple sneakers, sometimes I wear my bright purple winter coat, and my everyday gym bag, though a darker shade, is (you guessed it) Purple. 

The fact is I do love purple.  I have a purple couch, a bedspread where the dominant color is purple, and I recently made an impulse online buy of a purple rug with way too many shades of pink and lavender.  I have since rolled up the rug and stored it under my bed.  It's adorable, but when I walk into my apartment I can't help but think, "If anyone walks in here they're going to wonder where I've stored my collection of unicorn and fairy figurines."  I have also since put the quilt under my white duvet and poof - my Lisa Frank pencil of an apartment is finally a little more feng shui.  I guess if I walk into my own apartment and immediately conjure images of a Hello Kitty store, I may have gone overboard.

The problem is: take my winter coat for example, I'm not wearing it all day with my purple sneakers and gym bag - it looks normal when I wear it over work clothes.  It's just when I'm leaving the gym and everything on me is the same color that I have flashbacks to the JCrew girl - but this time she's saying "Wow, you REALLY love purple."  And this time, my head bows in shame because, she's right.

I'm a weirdo.

We all make mistakes with color, right? But that doesn't change the fact that I love my sneakers, and I love my coat and let's face it - I look amazing in the shades that emerge when you combine red and blue.  But if I saw me at the gym, I would instantly tune out my rocking music and start thinking of Barney Explosion jokes to tell my friends later at the bar.  

I guess the lesson here is that only in summer, where my sneaks can't clash with an overcoat, should I buy the more ostentatious Nike's that I'm so drawn to. Or unfortunately, that big purple dinosaur in the room will always be me.

Supporting the Troops

An old intern from my company is serving in Afghanistan for (I think) his third tour.  So, my boss and I did something very exciting last week - CARE PACKAGES!

I had SO much fun putting together packages for the troops that it led me to believe that maybe I should do something different with my life - like spend other people's money and shop for them.  I'm really grateful to my job for allowing us to do this and really thank our troops for defending the ol' U.S. of A.

The Deets:

First, I went to REI.com to find bags to put all of the goodies in.  There are 11 people in Crash's group (troupe, battalion? I'm embarrassed to admit I can't remember what to call troopmates - so I call them troopmates) and we made individual packages for each.  I scored these "Flash Packs" on sale - and they are beyond cool.  They are made of rip-stop nylon, have loops on the outside for hanging things like water bottles, pockets on the inside - which you can reverse the whole pack and put the pockets on the outside if you want, and if you don't need a backpack, there is a hole in the top to put a water tube through so you can convert the pack into one of those camelback water backpack things.  Also - ever the fashionista, they come in a nice array of colors (of which I bought an assortment, for the soldier who may prefer lime green over black - speaking from Navy brat experience, it can get boring to have a wardrobe made up of only khaki, blue and dark green).

My next step was to fill the pack with travel size toiletries.  I think I bought the entire travel section at CVS.  11 of each - and even though I told the checkout tech that there were 11 of each, she insisted on ringing everything up individually.  Don't get me started - it took forever.  I couldn't help but think of my trusty Clueless bible when Cher is Captain of the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief - "Daddy, some people lost all of their belongings, don't you think that includes athletic equipment?"  So I thought with a smile as we piled in every toiletry imaginable "Some troops have been in Afghanistan for a year or more, don't you think that means they need travel size toilet paper and hair gel?"  Like Cher, I would have put skis in the packs if I could have fit them...Anywho, it was fun.

In the bag.

Then I went over to City Sports and bought "Light Hiking" socks.  Hopefully, these are awesome.  I don't really know what it feels like to spend all day in combat boots (other than the pain-inducing hell of Doc Martens) - but I'm hoping these socks will make it easier.  They feature a padded foot, the Coolmax system, ventilation, etc. 

We also included a TON of Beef Jerky from a place in Naples, Florida.  But my favorite goodie was from the guys at Bell Wine & Spirits.  Rob had sent me out in search of cigars the troops might like.  I don't know anything about cigars, being that I'm just a woman - I know I smoke them and when I'm at Shelly's I don't like to spend more than 13 dollars on them.   At Bell they had a promotional package with four assorted cigars and a cigar cutter - but they only had 2.  So I asked - Oh Man, can I get 11 of these??  The Bell man was skeptical, but made a call to his supplier anyway.  Well, whoever their vendor is sent over 11 wonderful white boxes with silver ribbon that contained 4 cigars, a cigar cutter and a pack of matches.  I couldn't have been more appreciative.  (They have a great wine selection as well for you DC people).

I don't really know if these are good cigars - but I hope they're enjoyed.

I love love love giving gifts - especially good ones.  It was so nice last week to take brief breaks from real work to traipse around and shop for the troops.  I personally think the packs are going to be a wild success - and at least I hope that they convey from MHM to our Heros overseas that we're thinking of them and appreciate their service dearly!  Thanks!

For more info on care packages and troop needs visit here.

And special thanks to my Uncle - a veteran himself - who steered me in the right direction for many of these items. :)

Adult-Onset Cankles

I always considered myself lucky for inheriting my father's legs.  56 years strong and they're still pretty damn nice...I know this because well into the 90s my father still sported Tom Selleck shorts.  And he just switched to board shorts in the mid 2000s.   I've seen some Ed Legs in my day.  That's  no offense to my mother - She is quite the bombshell as well.  Her old clothes from when she was in her 20s haven't fit me since I was 13.

Regardless - I was a ballet dancer for years and I have always thought my legs were kind of my thing.  Until now.  I've noticed a terrifying condition growing between my knees and (what used to be) my ankles - my calf muscles are gradually getting larger and with nowhere else to go, they're inching closer and closer to my achilles - expanding their territory slowly, but surely, like the United States in the 20th century - just when you think you've gone as far west as possible, my calves actually get so big that they are no longer contiguous at all.  I'll name the right one 'Alaska' and the left one 'Hawaii.'  Don't even get me started on the territories - I can't entertain the idea that they could get that large.... This metaphor is getting out of hand.

These are my legs.

(Not really, but go with it.)

These are my legs on cankles.

This leads me to wonder whether cankles are like diabetes* - you can be born with it, or the other type: late onset**

My Adult-Onset Cankles are plaguing my brain, my reflection and my everyday life.  Attempting to order new boots online, I was forced to measure the tumors on the back of my shins.  They're 16 inches at their widest point.   Measure your own calves - even you men out there - they're a fraction the size of mine.  I promise.  Are my calves telling me I have a shopping problem?  Don't answer that.  I needed those boots - and they were like 80 percent off!  With only a 14 inch width on the boots in question, I had the shocking realization - my calves are the weird 50 pound baby that used to be featured on the covers of the National Enquirer and shows like Ricki Lake.

Lately I've even noticed that when trying on skinny jeans or jeggings, what is much too loose around my waist cuts off my circulation from the knee down.

Also - In accordance with my pre new year's resolution, I'm actually losing weight.  So while my top half shrinks, my calves are growing.  Very awkward.  Could they have their own brain and their own stomach and they're just feeding off my top half while they gluttonously expand closer and closer to my heels?

I'm freaking out.  I'm clearly going to be the topic of some weird Discovery Channel special and then if the corrective surgery goes awry, the subject of a Lifetime Movie.  Wait...this could be how I get famous.  Do I want to be famous for my calves eating my feet? No - too weird.  Definitely not.

Vanity aside - is my life calling to start a foundation for finding the cure to Type 2 Cankles?  I'm not so sure.   I don't even have time to organize that type of thing right now.  But if I don't start now, I may not be able to walk soon.

 I started my 10k training program (via nikeplus.com) yesterday - and the running only makes my calves more sore, leading me to believe that they've not yet reached their peak in size - that they're growing every day and once they eat my ankles they'll move up the back of my knees until my legs are literally the same width from ass to foot.  Tree trunks.  Ugh.

It's real cute when it's just a baby plant.

Feed me, Seymour.  Feed me.

Until it's bigger than you and can eat you.

Pray for me...or send me advice.  I'm afraid that if I don't stop them, it will be too late. And while I'm feeling wide leg pants this season, I don't want to be limited to them for the rest of my days.  And if my calves happen to call you begging for sustenance like Seymour from that Rick Moranis movie I don't remember the name of...ignore the call.  They have the whole top half of my body to consume before we move onto Guam or Puerto Rico.

*Diabetes is no laughing matter.
**But neither are cankles.